How to Give a Hickey: A Simple Guide

A hickey, also known as a love bite or kiss mark, is a temporary bruise caused by sucking on the skin, often given as a playful or intimate gesture between partners. While it’s commonly associated with romance, it’s important to approach the topic with care and respect for your partner's comfort and boundaries.

Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to give a hickey, keeping consent and fun in mind.

1. Establish Comfort and Consent

Before anything else, ensure that both you and your partner are comfortable with the idea of giving or receiving a hickey. Some people enjoy them, while others may prefer to avoid visible marks on their body. Always communicate openly about whether or not it's something both of you want to try.

2. Choose the Right Spot

The most common areas for hickeys are soft, fleshy regions like the neck, collarbone, or upper arm. These areas are sensitive and have thinner skin, which makes it easier to create a bruise. Keep in mind that visible marks on the neck might be noticed by others, so it’s good to discuss where the hickey will be placed if discretion is important.

3. Start with Gentle Kissing

Begin by kissing the area where you plan to give the hickey. This helps relax your partner and makes the experience feel more intimate. Soft kisses build anticipation and ensure that the process doesn’t feel rushed or uncomfortable.

4. Apply Suction

Once you’ve built up the moment, gently place your lips on your chosen spot and create a suction by lightly sucking on the skin. The key here is to be firm but not overly aggressive, as you don’t want to cause pain. Suck for about 20 to 30 seconds. You can vary the pressure depending on your partner’s preferences, but be sure to maintain consistency in suction to form the bruise.

5. Add a Little Tongue (Optional)

For a bit of added sensation, some people like to use their tongue while applying suction. Gently swirl your tongue while sucking to create a mixture of sensations, but this is entirely optional and can be omitted based on what feels best for both of you.

6. Check In With Your Partner

During the process, make sure to check in with your partner. Ask if the pressure feels okay and if they’re enjoying the experience. This ensures that the hickey-giving is a positive and mutually satisfying interaction.

7. Observe the Mark

After about 20-30 seconds, release the suction and check the area. A hickey will typically appear as a small, reddish or purplish bruise. If it’s not quite as visible as desired, you can repeat the process, but be mindful not to overdo it as the skin can become sore or irritated.

Tips for Giving a Hickey:

Be Gentle: Aggressive sucking can cause pain or injury. Hickeys should be given with care to avoid hurting your partner.
Use Moisturizer or Lip Balm: If your lips are dry, applying a little lip balm beforehand can make the experience more comfortable and prevent any irritation on the skin.
Know the Duration: Hickeys usually last from 5 to 12 days, depending on the individual. Be mindful of the fact that they are noticeable and might be seen by others.
Covering Hickeys: If needed, hickeys can be covered with makeup or clothing until they heal. Some people may not want a visible hickey, so offer to place it in a more discreet area if desired.

Conclusion

Giving a hickey can be a playful and intimate gesture, but it should always be done with care, communication, and consent. By following these steps and ensuring your partner’s comfort, you can share a fun experience while keeping things respectful and enjoyable. Remember, it’s not just about the mark you leave but the shared moment between you and your partner.

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